11/23/2023 0 Comments Mastering uncomfortable conversations![]() Studies from The Gottman Institute show that it takes five positive interactions to overcome any one negative interaction. "You can even show that you empathize with your partner and understand what they are feeling through a non-verbal facial expression or physical gesture such as holding their hand." "A verbal statement such as 'it makes sense to me that you feel that way,' ," said Exelbert. Instead of slinging hurtful words, practice empathy. This will prevent you from saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment. If you're feeling extremely heated, take a 15-minute breather or even a few hours to gain composure, advised Exelbert. It is never conducive to debase, defame or affect someone's self-esteem negatively. The point of arguing should only be to communicate why you feel the way you do. These expert-backed strategies will help you get there. This is far more productive than a haphazard yelling match and will help your relationship grow.įighting "well" is not an easy skill to develop - and it requires an enormous amount of practice and restraint - but it can be done. Instead, the goal is to effectively, rationally communicate why you feel the way you do and hear the other person's perspective. In that sense, it's not about putting a pin in the fight (which is likely to lead to an explosion down the road) or shouting until one person gives up and slams the door. This is why rationally clearing the air is so vital." Often, people are not aware that specific actions or lack of actions are having the consequences that can lead to anger, hurt or confusion. "When you need to 'argue' a point with someone, what you are trying to do is express how you feel and make the other person understand how it impacts you. Sanam Hafeez, a New York City-based neuropsychologist and faculty member at Columbia University. "There is a big difference between arguing and being abusive and de-constructive," said Dr. More from TODAY: Marriage can be lonely: Why it happens and what to do Will your marriage survive quarantine? These parents get the struggle Teens and screens: What parents can do to support healthier habits ![]() ![]() ![]() While disagreements are a healthy part of every relationship, our human default-mode of engaging in a pride-shielding, fiery back-and-forth is just going to leave both parties utterly exhausted at best, and hurt or angry to the point of no repair at worst. ![]()
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